I haven't written in awhile. That bothers me. I have been thinking alot about my blog and I realize that it's not off the cuff writing. I think about what I want to write about, then I think about it some more... and then I have so over-thought whatever my subject matter was that I have a hard time getting it written! Those first few blogs I wrote inspired me, but now I find myself struggling.
I have been following a few blogs and I realize that it's more about jotting thoughts down. Which I can do, but will they come out as a great thought or a bunch of jumbled words? Guess I will ponder that thought and see what I can do with it. So with that said...
I have a pet peeve. I know it's dumb.
Most drivers on the road today know the basics about driving (at least I am trying to give them credit..) I don't see cars driving on the wrong side of the road because most get the flow of traffic. But get em in a parking lot and all bets are off. Nothing irritates me more than turning down an aisle clearly marked with an arrow only to find some idiot driving against the arrow, and then to give me the evil eye as if I were the idiot!! I know, I know... in the scheme of things this is relatively mild. But in my world it's HUGE!! There are many other infractions that happen in my driving world everyday! I feel this is the worst. I actually know a woman who was telling me about the guy who backed out of his parking spot only to bang into her car and it pushed in the entire passenger side of her car. As she is telling me this story, I am feeling her pain. "He just backed right into me!! And now his insurance doesn't want to fix it because he is saying it's my fault! He didn't even look before he backed out."
Ok, I am really feeling her pain. Until.... I discover... he did look before backing out. He just didn't look the opposite way because who drives against the arrows??
Good Freakin' Grief.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
How come August got left out?
As the year begins we block time increments around holidays.
January, of course is recovery month.... after the Christmas holidays. It begins with New Years Day. The first day of the new year... so much promise!! So many resolutions!! It also has Martin Luther King Day. But do you know anyone who celebrates this day? I'm not talking about getting the day off work either... I mean really understand and celebrate the day?
Februrary has Valentine's Day. As a kid it was so much fun, the shoebox of funny Valentines brought home from school. Hoping to find that one special one from you know who!! As an adult, it's just a forced holiday that makes a lot of folks uncomfortable due to their personal situations. Who wants to be reminded that you are under the gun to do something special for your partner? Isn't that something you should be doing without prompting? And who wants to be reminded that they are running 'single' (as if it's some sort of disease!!)? Everywhere you look it's about love and couples and hearts and flowers... this is depressing if you are single. Nothing like a holiday to ram home that fact. This month also has Presidents Day. When was the last time you heard of anyone celebrating Presidents Day that wasn't having a sale of some kind?
March has the ever so strange St. Patrick's Day. Ok, green beer and cabbage... and all those clover leaves everywhere!!! How many kids today are aware of the 'old timey' way to celebrate... If you're not wearing green you get a pinch!??
With April comes Easter. It's sort of 2 holidays in one. You have the spiritual aspect, Jesus rose from the dead and we rejoice! And then the secular side with the Bunny, candy and Egg Hunts.
May, of course brings May flowers... but it's Mother's Day that is most important. After all, without her... would we be?? May also has Memorial Day. This is celebrated with BBQ's and beer, but how many understand the real meaning of this day? How many truly thank and respect those who made the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we enjoy (and which now, some of those freedoms come under fire with our current administration).
June is truly the beginning of Summer, as most schools begin the summer vacation. This month contains Father's Day. Wonder why we don't put as much effort into this day as we do Mother's Day? (After all, it took both of them for me to get here.....) This month also includes one of my favorite days... Flag Day!! Oh how I love the Red, White and Blue!! An important Amercian birthday!! But then the next month is The American Birthday....
July 4th!! Happy Birthday America!!
August is our most laid back month.... no holidays to note. Most schools now start in August, so there is a lot of school shopping, clothes and supplies. And it is the lead in to the last 4 months of the year which to me are the most aggressive of holidays.
We start in September. Labor Day. Another strange holiday. The first Monday of the month and we recognize the economic and social contributions of workers. Who really gets that? I am still confused. There are so many birthdays of friends and relatives in this month and mine too!! So keeping up with all of said birthdays is a full month job!!
October is the one that has my all time favorite holiday.... Halloween!!! This is the one day a year that anyone can be whatever they want to be for one day and not be judged!! (Unless you're one of those holy roller types that does not agree with this holiday... ) I am not into the devil worshipper thing that surrounds this day. It's all about the fun!! The costumes!! The decorations!! The candy!! I love it!!
We now arrive at the most laid back of holidays, Thanksgiving. This is, truly, the eating holiday. The turkey or ham dinner that puts everyone over the edge and turns 80% of us into couch potatoes. Yes, most of us think of all the things we are grateful for, but it really comes down to the food.
And now... for the grand finale.... Christmas!! This too, is a two in one holiday. This is the day we celebrate Jesus' birth. And of course the other guy, who wears a red suit.... Santa. As a child this is the ulitmate holiday.. that one day a year that your wishes might come true. The anticipation of it. The thrill of it. The excitement!! And then we reach the end of the year... the last day... New Years Eve. Hate to say it. But it will never be the same without Dick Clark.
January, of course is recovery month.... after the Christmas holidays. It begins with New Years Day. The first day of the new year... so much promise!! So many resolutions!! It also has Martin Luther King Day. But do you know anyone who celebrates this day? I'm not talking about getting the day off work either... I mean really understand and celebrate the day?
Februrary has Valentine's Day. As a kid it was so much fun, the shoebox of funny Valentines brought home from school. Hoping to find that one special one from you know who!! As an adult, it's just a forced holiday that makes a lot of folks uncomfortable due to their personal situations. Who wants to be reminded that you are under the gun to do something special for your partner? Isn't that something you should be doing without prompting? And who wants to be reminded that they are running 'single' (as if it's some sort of disease!!)? Everywhere you look it's about love and couples and hearts and flowers... this is depressing if you are single. Nothing like a holiday to ram home that fact. This month also has Presidents Day. When was the last time you heard of anyone celebrating Presidents Day that wasn't having a sale of some kind?
March has the ever so strange St. Patrick's Day. Ok, green beer and cabbage... and all those clover leaves everywhere!!! How many kids today are aware of the 'old timey' way to celebrate... If you're not wearing green you get a pinch!??
With April comes Easter. It's sort of 2 holidays in one. You have the spiritual aspect, Jesus rose from the dead and we rejoice! And then the secular side with the Bunny, candy and Egg Hunts.
May, of course brings May flowers... but it's Mother's Day that is most important. After all, without her... would we be?? May also has Memorial Day. This is celebrated with BBQ's and beer, but how many understand the real meaning of this day? How many truly thank and respect those who made the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we enjoy (and which now, some of those freedoms come under fire with our current administration).
June is truly the beginning of Summer, as most schools begin the summer vacation. This month contains Father's Day. Wonder why we don't put as much effort into this day as we do Mother's Day? (After all, it took both of them for me to get here.....) This month also includes one of my favorite days... Flag Day!! Oh how I love the Red, White and Blue!! An important Amercian birthday!! But then the next month is The American Birthday....
July 4th!! Happy Birthday America!!
August is our most laid back month.... no holidays to note. Most schools now start in August, so there is a lot of school shopping, clothes and supplies. And it is the lead in to the last 4 months of the year which to me are the most aggressive of holidays.
We start in September. Labor Day. Another strange holiday. The first Monday of the month and we recognize the economic and social contributions of workers. Who really gets that? I am still confused. There are so many birthdays of friends and relatives in this month and mine too!! So keeping up with all of said birthdays is a full month job!!
October is the one that has my all time favorite holiday.... Halloween!!! This is the one day a year that anyone can be whatever they want to be for one day and not be judged!! (Unless you're one of those holy roller types that does not agree with this holiday... ) I am not into the devil worshipper thing that surrounds this day. It's all about the fun!! The costumes!! The decorations!! The candy!! I love it!!
We now arrive at the most laid back of holidays, Thanksgiving. This is, truly, the eating holiday. The turkey or ham dinner that puts everyone over the edge and turns 80% of us into couch potatoes. Yes, most of us think of all the things we are grateful for, but it really comes down to the food.
And now... for the grand finale.... Christmas!! This too, is a two in one holiday. This is the day we celebrate Jesus' birth. And of course the other guy, who wears a red suit.... Santa. As a child this is the ulitmate holiday.. that one day a year that your wishes might come true. The anticipation of it. The thrill of it. The excitement!! And then we reach the end of the year... the last day... New Years Eve. Hate to say it. But it will never be the same without Dick Clark.
Friday, April 6, 2012
What part of NO didn't she get, the N or the O?
Mother-in-law.
Just saying that conjures up many images. Nearly everyone I know either has one, knows one, was divorced from one, or is considered one. The boundless jokes, the comic images. The stigma!
I am one. By definition that means my child is married. I have a daughter-in-law.
And she is a nightmare. She will someday become the iconic symbol of the hated, dreaded, picture-perfect-awful -- mother-in-law. (If blessed to live that long I will warn all unsuspecting little darlings...)
In her eyes, and by the words she speaks, I am a fuckin dyke-ass bitch. Yep.. that's me!! I got this lovely endearment because I am the mother of the young man that got involved with this train wreck. There was a time when her hateful words just had me in tears. Me holding out hope that someday she will see that I am not her enemy!! I'm just the Momma of a little boy she fell in love with!! But I don't believe that's ever gonna happen. So I have come to accept that she will never think of me differently.
I used to care.
It's interesting what you see in others at an older age than what you saw in others when you were young. I recognized what kind of girl D-i-L was the minute I met her. I tried to warn my son. Please,,, I see trouble!! But his eyes, they saw a beauty regardless of her unmannered ways, and so it began.
Now, 8 years later, my son and the beauty he fell in love with have become this all fightin pair of junk yard dogs going for the throat. And yes to that next question... the kids have become the pull toy between.
My son, Kyle, moved states away. I remain nearby in terms of where we live but no longer close to my grandkids. You see, because my son has removed himself physically from their relationship, I have been shifted to that all dreaded position of target one. When they get to bickering by phone and he has had enough, he will shut down the phone and this sends her on a ballistic rant straight to me. After all he is my son... so I am responsible... for all her hurt... for all her hate... for all her failure... it's on me. Her best defense now is to hurt me.. to hate me... to blame me. And yes, again, to that next question... the kids are kept from me as payment for all she endures. That's her get-even to Kyle.
But there's more. Much more here than just the 'hurt me because I'm his Momma'. Her problem with me is she has no control. And now that her words and her keeping the kids from me is having no effect, she becomes even more hateful towards me. Multiple voicemails telling me what a bitch I am, what a sorry son of a bitch Kyle is, (Let me quote.. "fuck u, fuck him.. fuck all y'all!!" That one is her favorite. Here's another... "if he don't send me money, none a y'all gonna see the kids.") All because I don't jump and run to help when she gives me the (many) ultimatums.
Not to make any type of excuse for her, some background is needed. This is a young woman who during her raising (and I am not placing blame on any one person in her family) learned a nasty behavior trait of getting loud and ugly to get what she wants. She will batter you to death!! Pushing every tender button in your psyche that she knows will weaken you. I have taken a lot of verbal crap from this one, and her dislike for me grows with each "NO" I've uttered.
As she is young and not very well behaved, I have stood my ground and not given in. My feelings toward her changed some when Kynzleigh died. Kynz was her second child. Just before she was about to turn 4 months, she choked in her sleep. No ones fault. It was a freak thing. God calling his Angel early. No rhyme or reason. Since I have not lost a child, I cannot begin to understand what she went through as a Mother. At any age, losing a child would be devastating. I have tried to deal with her a little more delicately than anyone else.
Done.
Now at that point where I am no longer going to endure her shit. I raised 2 children from the same cloth I was raised... you respect your elders. With me as a child, and with my kids... right or wrong there is NO ROOM for disrespect.
So who suffers most? Me!! I lose precious moments with the babies. Moments I wish to hold on to because I know oh so well how fast time goes by. Those years raising my own, the memories... I am losing that with these two. What are they losing? Time with Gramma...
But the lesson here, learned by my lovely D-i-L, and by the grandkids, will be ~~~ Don't be ugly to Gramma. and when Gramma says no, she means it.
This Mother-in-law has had enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just saying that conjures up many images. Nearly everyone I know either has one, knows one, was divorced from one, or is considered one. The boundless jokes, the comic images. The stigma!
I am one. By definition that means my child is married. I have a daughter-in-law.
And she is a nightmare. She will someday become the iconic symbol of the hated, dreaded, picture-perfect-awful -- mother-in-law. (If blessed to live that long I will warn all unsuspecting little darlings...)
In her eyes, and by the words she speaks, I am a fuckin dyke-ass bitch. Yep.. that's me!! I got this lovely endearment because I am the mother of the young man that got involved with this train wreck. There was a time when her hateful words just had me in tears. Me holding out hope that someday she will see that I am not her enemy!! I'm just the Momma of a little boy she fell in love with!! But I don't believe that's ever gonna happen. So I have come to accept that she will never think of me differently.
I used to care.
It's interesting what you see in others at an older age than what you saw in others when you were young. I recognized what kind of girl D-i-L was the minute I met her. I tried to warn my son. Please,,, I see trouble!! But his eyes, they saw a beauty regardless of her unmannered ways, and so it began.
Now, 8 years later, my son and the beauty he fell in love with have become this all fightin pair of junk yard dogs going for the throat. And yes to that next question... the kids have become the pull toy between.
My son, Kyle, moved states away. I remain nearby in terms of where we live but no longer close to my grandkids. You see, because my son has removed himself physically from their relationship, I have been shifted to that all dreaded position of target one. When they get to bickering by phone and he has had enough, he will shut down the phone and this sends her on a ballistic rant straight to me. After all he is my son... so I am responsible... for all her hurt... for all her hate... for all her failure... it's on me. Her best defense now is to hurt me.. to hate me... to blame me. And yes, again, to that next question... the kids are kept from me as payment for all she endures. That's her get-even to Kyle.
But there's more. Much more here than just the 'hurt me because I'm his Momma'. Her problem with me is she has no control. And now that her words and her keeping the kids from me is having no effect, she becomes even more hateful towards me. Multiple voicemails telling me what a bitch I am, what a sorry son of a bitch Kyle is, (Let me quote.. "fuck u, fuck him.. fuck all y'all!!" That one is her favorite. Here's another... "if he don't send me money, none a y'all gonna see the kids.") All because I don't jump and run to help when she gives me the (many) ultimatums.
Not to make any type of excuse for her, some background is needed. This is a young woman who during her raising (and I am not placing blame on any one person in her family) learned a nasty behavior trait of getting loud and ugly to get what she wants. She will batter you to death!! Pushing every tender button in your psyche that she knows will weaken you. I have taken a lot of verbal crap from this one, and her dislike for me grows with each "NO" I've uttered.
As she is young and not very well behaved, I have stood my ground and not given in. My feelings toward her changed some when Kynzleigh died. Kynz was her second child. Just before she was about to turn 4 months, she choked in her sleep. No ones fault. It was a freak thing. God calling his Angel early. No rhyme or reason. Since I have not lost a child, I cannot begin to understand what she went through as a Mother. At any age, losing a child would be devastating. I have tried to deal with her a little more delicately than anyone else.
Done.
Now at that point where I am no longer going to endure her shit. I raised 2 children from the same cloth I was raised... you respect your elders. With me as a child, and with my kids... right or wrong there is NO ROOM for disrespect.
So who suffers most? Me!! I lose precious moments with the babies. Moments I wish to hold on to because I know oh so well how fast time goes by. Those years raising my own, the memories... I am losing that with these two. What are they losing? Time with Gramma...
But the lesson here, learned by my lovely D-i-L, and by the grandkids, will be ~~~ Don't be ugly to Gramma. and when Gramma says no, she means it.
This Mother-in-law has had enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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