It wasn't the uniform, it was the action taken.

Honor. 
Courage. 
Commitment.  


I am a huge supporter of our American Military. It doesn't matter what branch because all serve these beautiful United States of America. Because of them, I live free.

The extraordinary Men and Women who serve our country are, by far, the greatest Heros of my time. I thank them for their service to our country.

This gentleman is one of them.
And I thank him for this small but very important act...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=co-zSJSfUmE#!



Former Marine Mark Dolfini took time from his own life to honor a young man who loved the Marines. Unfortunately Cody lost his battle with leukemia. My heart fills with sadness for this young mans family. At the same time my heart fills with pride for Mr. Dolfini.

Thank you for your selfless act.
Thank you for your service to this great land in which we live.
And mostly, Thank You, Sir, for reminding me that in the end... it's about the human soul.

At a time when there is so much negativity in our world, all it takes is one small act of kindness to make me realize that Angels do walk among us.

Up or down, how do you ride?

I had a 5am plane to meet this morning. Not much traffic driving into town, which was nice. I got to see the sunrise, and that's a switch, as I usually see it setting! The weather was beautiful, about 70 degrees. With work finished, heading home, this day's beauty in my face - both windows are down and the sunroof is wide open. I took my time driving home because I simply wasn't in a hurry. And that was nice too.
As I rode through the morning commuters, I was struck by the fact that very few drive with their windows down. Those who crack the window, say a couple inches, you don't count. I am talking about having all the windows all the way down. Once was the time when there were very few who rode with the windows up!! ("Oooo! (said in my envious voice) They must have air conditioning!!") There was more communication, more connection to others then. Not any more. So closed off from everyone else. In these vehicles that already have way too much going on for the average driver. I long for the good old days... when the dashboard was just a plain old dashboard. Not a media mecca. Not a docking station for portable devices. How fast I'm going and how much gas I have is all I really need to know!
I know most people nowadays would not consider giving up the comfort of their AC for any length of time. I prefer not to have or use AC. Yes, I do get hot without it. And sometimes even sticky. But I am used to it. As a society we have been...( haha for the lack of a better word...) conditioned!! Most folks feel as if they might die if they have to endure life without AC! And spoiled is all they have become.
I feel old realizing that things will never be like they used to be. I come from a time when you lived among people. You know, another human talking face to face.. or at least through an open window!
I like the fact that I can roll up to a stoplight and can hear that beautiful sound of a badass V8 rumbling in the next lane. Or hear the giggling of little kids as I roll past the schoolyard during recess. And the cheers coming from the stadium as the home team scores. So much life is missed all closed up in those vehicles.

When was the last time you rode with life blowing through your windows?

Who will kiss away this hurt?

It's Mother's Day. And it is a dreary rainy day here in Alabama. This weather certainly reflects my mood. My Mom is 500 miles away. On my mind she is, and without it being 'her special day' I am more worried about her than ever. She has emphysema. Full blown. She has been on oxygen for more than 10 years. During our last phone call she informed me that her air intake is at the maximum. This means, in regular people terms, that there are no portable tanks large enough to sustain her away from her home for more than an hour. Virtually homebound. This is very bad as my Mom, for her age (77) and physical health, is so independent! But her fate is inevitable.
I have seen her health declining the last couple times I've been to visit her. I've seen her struggle from point A to point B, literally losing her breath and having to stop and take a seat to catch her wind. I keep telling myself that she is okay, when in reality, she is not. As if this isn't bad enough news for the little girl in me, I am days away from the anniversary of my Father's death. It's been 28 years. Gone so long that I hardly remember what he looked like, or the sound of his voice.
I am longing for another time, so long ago. But it's gone, a distant memory. I want so desperately to go back. To an easier life, when things were so simple. I am feeling so low. On so many levels I have so much, yet I want for more. Nothing tangible comes to mind... only a longing. I miss my Dad and with my Moms health deteriorating it is coming at me full force. Feelings of loss are so thick I can hardly think.

Through the rain tonight, I will drive myself to work.
With those thoughts of days gone by...

My kid had bruised knuckles...ONCE

A friend posted a blog (http://xanaxorrunningshoes.com/2012/04/30/the-problem-with-your-children/) about her daughter being bullied on her school bus on the same day I read an article about a 5year old being arrested in Florida on felony charges. What the hell is happening to our world?? What happened to having personal responsibilities? Have we just lost our minds?
It seems you can't do anything anymore without some vindictive idiot calling 'foul'. That old school raising I had has proved to be timeless. I lived in a house that taught respect for people and rules. I lived in a house that taught personal responsibility. I lived in a house that used corporal punishment. You break the rules - you suffer the consequences. There was no grey area. My siblings and I are none the worse for wear because of it. In fact, we each raised our children with the same set of rules.
The school we attended also used corporal punishment, which at that time did not require my parents permission to be administered. Again... you break the rules - you suffered. And if you did happen to get a paddling at school, it wasn't over... you had to go home and face the paddling you would get from the parental unit because you had the nerve to misbehave at school!!
Not anymore. I don't know how it happened but we have become a society afraid. Why? Because someone decided that respect was too much work? The parents of little ones today have a world of hurt waiting around the corner for them...
Case in point, the 5 year old in Florida who threw a temper tantrum, attacked and punched the asst. principle. (http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500202_162-690601.html) The little girl was handcuffed and put in a police cruiser. Now the lawyer for the mother plans on suing. I watched the video. It is disturbing. But a good spanking would have changed the whole story! I agree that the police should NOT have handcuffed her. In fact, they should have done NOTHING until the parent was present. But it doesn't take away the fact that the little girl is a damn BRAT!
Another case in point, the 10 year old who attacked her teacher after she had her halloween candy taken away. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/14/ten-year-old-girl-attacks_n_1093201.html) Kick that kids ass!! Good grief!! So the little shit threatened the teacher saying she was going to kill her... she did NOT learn this at school!! If she thinks it's okay to make idle threats, well guess where she learned it!!

The parent with bad parenting skills (the child learns this behavior from somewhere......) will try to get a cash settlement because she is raising a future bully?? And this is going to change things? I think not. We have coddled the stupid long enough!! And just what are they trying to reform?? You send your child to school to learn. To read, to write, to use the environment for social skills that will be needed as they become adults. No wonder we have so many stupid people who think the world owes them!! This has also put our schools at a disadvantage because of the fear of the personal retaliation from the parents. Start kicking their ass at home!! Kick their asses at school!! Teach them the difference between right and wrong. Lift each up to be an example of what happens when you misbehave!! I think what we lack most is teaching each child personal responsibility.
Oh but wait... I think that child has a problem.. we must remove said child from the regular classroom and put them in a special needs class. BULLSHIT!!  All that does is solidifies in that childs mind that their behavior grants them special privileges! Oh but their behavior leads me to believe they might need some sort of medication. Oh. My. God. We are already an over-medicated society... that's right teach them in elementary school that your best bet to get out of something is to be ON something!!! What a wicked circle.

My friend's child is being bullied on her bus. My friend told her child to rear back and give the bully a good solid punch in the nose. Yay!! Good for her!! Now most people would be against this type of advice but I am not. I taught both my kids to stand up for themselves and if it got them in trouble with school officials that it would be okay. Because I would be there to back them up and I would help them through whatever punishment deemed necessary for their crime. But I would be the biggest voice those officials would hear. Yes, I actually had to go the the school because my son took matters into his own hands. And yes, he was punished. In fact, the other parent took us to court to pay for the hospital bill because Kyle broke his nose. Which I gladly paid. But in the end my son learned a valuable lesson, stick up for yourself at all costs. And he told me years later that NO ONE EVER BOTHERED HIM AGAIN. So for my friends child, and all those whose children find themselves being tormented by a bully... one good poke in the nose is worth a million reprimands.

Pet Peeve, Come'on... you got one

I haven't written in awhile. That bothers me. I have been thinking alot about my blog and I realize that it's not off the cuff writing. I think about what I want to write about, then I think about it some more... and then I have so over-thought whatever my subject matter was that I have a hard time getting it written! Those first few blogs I wrote inspired me, but now I find myself struggling.
I have been following a few blogs and I realize that it's more about jotting thoughts down. Which I can do, but will they come out as a great thought or a bunch of jumbled words? Guess I will ponder that thought and see what I can do with it. So with that said...

I have a pet peeve. I know it's dumb.

Most drivers on the road today know the basics about driving (at least I am trying to give them credit..) I don't see cars driving on the wrong side of the road because most get the flow of traffic. But get em in a parking lot and all bets are off. Nothing irritates me more than turning down an aisle clearly marked with an arrow only to find some idiot driving against the arrow, and then to give me the evil eye as if I were the idiot!! I know, I know... in the scheme of things this is relatively mild. But in my world it's HUGE!! There are many other infractions that happen in my driving world everyday! I feel this is the worst. I actually know a woman who was telling me about the guy who backed out of his parking spot only to bang into her car and it pushed in the entire passenger side of her car. As she is telling me this story, I am feeling her pain. "He just backed right into me!! And now his insurance doesn't want to fix it because he is saying it's my fault! He didn't even look before he backed out."
Ok, I am really feeling her pain. Until.... I discover... he did look before backing out. He just didn't look the opposite way because who drives against the arrows??
Good Freakin' Grief.

How come August got left out?

As the year begins we block time increments around holidays.
January, of course is recovery month.... after the Christmas holidays. It begins with New Years Day. The first day of the new year... so much promise!! So many resolutions!! It also has Martin Luther King Day. But do you know anyone who celebrates this day? I'm not talking about getting the day off work either... I mean really understand and celebrate the day?
Februrary has Valentine's Day. As a kid it was so much fun, the shoebox of funny Valentines brought home from school. Hoping to find that one special one from you know who!! As an adult, it's just a forced holiday that makes a lot of folks uncomfortable due to their personal situations. Who wants to be reminded that you are under the gun to do something special for your partner? Isn't that something you should be doing without prompting? And who wants to be reminded that they are running 'single' (as if it's some sort of disease!!)? Everywhere you look it's about love and couples and hearts and flowers... this is depressing if you are single. Nothing like a holiday to ram home that fact. This month also has Presidents Day. When was the last time you heard of anyone celebrating Presidents Day that wasn't having a sale of some kind?
March has the ever so strange St. Patrick's Day. Ok, green beer and cabbage... and all those clover leaves everywhere!!! How many kids today are aware of the 'old timey' way to celebrate... If you're not wearing green you get a pinch!??
With April comes Easter. It's sort of 2 holidays in one. You have the spiritual aspect, Jesus rose from the dead and we rejoice! And then the secular side with the Bunny, candy and Egg Hunts.
May, of course brings May flowers... but it's Mother's Day that is most important. After all, without her... would we be?? May also has Memorial Day. This is celebrated with BBQ's and beer, but how many understand the real meaning of this day? How many truly thank and respect those who made the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we enjoy (and which now, some of those freedoms come under fire with our current administration).
June is truly the beginning of Summer, as most schools begin the summer vacation. This month contains Father's Day. Wonder why we don't put as much effort into this day as we do Mother's Day? (After all, it took both of them for me to get here.....) This month also includes one of my favorite days... Flag Day!! Oh how I love the Red, White and Blue!! An important Amercian birthday!! But then the next month is The American Birthday....
July 4th!! Happy Birthday America!!
August is our most laid back month.... no holidays to note. Most schools now start in August, so there is a lot of school shopping, clothes and supplies. And it is the lead in to the last 4 months of the year which to me are the most aggressive of holidays.
We start in September. Labor Day. Another strange holiday. The first Monday of the month and we recognize the economic and social contributions of workers. Who really gets that? I am still confused. There are so many birthdays of friends and relatives in this month and mine too!! So keeping up with all of said birthdays is a full month job!!
October is the one that has my all time favorite holiday.... Halloween!!! This is the one day a year that anyone can be whatever they want to be for one day and not be judged!! (Unless you're one of those holy roller types that does not agree with this holiday... ) I am not into the devil worshipper thing that surrounds this day. It's all about the fun!! The costumes!! The decorations!! The candy!! I love it!!
We now arrive at the most laid back of holidays, Thanksgiving. This is, truly, the eating holiday. The turkey or ham dinner that puts everyone over the edge and turns 80% of us into couch potatoes. Yes, most of us think of all the things we are grateful for, but it really comes down to the food.
And now... for the grand finale.... Christmas!!  This too, is a two in one holiday. This is the day we celebrate Jesus' birth. And of course the other guy, who wears a red suit.... Santa. As a child this is the ulitmate holiday.. that one day a year that your wishes might come true. The anticipation of it. The thrill of it. The excitement!! And then we reach the end of the year... the last day... New Years Eve. Hate to say it. But it will never be the same without Dick Clark.

What part of NO didn't she get, the N or the O?

Mother-in-law.

Just saying that conjures up many images. Nearly everyone I know either has one, knows one, was divorced from one, or is considered one. The boundless jokes, the comic images. The stigma!
I am one. By definition that means my child is married. I have a daughter-in-law.
And she is a nightmare. She will someday become the iconic symbol of the hated, dreaded, picture-perfect-awful -- mother-in-law. (If blessed to live that long I will warn all unsuspecting little darlings...)

In her eyes, and by the words she speaks, I am a fuckin dyke-ass bitch. Yep.. that's me!! I got this lovely endearment because I am the mother of the young man that got involved with this train wreck. There was a time when her hateful words just had me in tears. Me holding out hope that someday she will see that I am not her enemy!! I'm just the Momma of a little boy she fell in love with!! But I don't believe that's ever gonna happen. So I have come to accept that she will never think of me differently.

I used to care.

It's interesting what you see in others at an older age than what you saw in others when you were young. I recognized what kind of girl D-i-L was the minute I met her. I tried to warn my son. Please,,, I see trouble!! But his eyes, they saw a beauty regardless of her unmannered ways, and so it began.
Now, 8 years later, my son and the beauty he fell in love with have become this all fightin pair of junk yard dogs going for the throat. And yes to that next question... the kids have become the pull toy between.
My son, Kyle, moved states away. I remain nearby in terms of where we live but no longer close to my grandkids. You see, because my son has removed himself physically from their relationship, I have been shifted to that all dreaded position of target one. When they get to bickering by phone and he has had enough, he will shut down the phone and this sends her on a ballistic rant straight to me. After all he is my son... so I am responsible... for all her hurt... for all her hate... for all her failure... it's on me. Her best defense now is to hurt me.. to hate me... to blame me. And yes, again, to that next question... the kids are kept from me as payment for all she endures. That's her get-even to Kyle.
But there's more. Much more here than just the 'hurt me because I'm his Momma'. Her problem with me is she has no control. And now that her words and her keeping the kids from me is having no effect, she becomes even more hateful towards me. Multiple voicemails telling me what a bitch I am, what a sorry son of a bitch Kyle is, (Let me quote.. "fuck u, fuck him.. fuck all y'all!!" That one is her favorite. Here's another... "if he don't send me money, none a y'all gonna see the kids.") All because I don't jump and run to help when she gives me the (many) ultimatums.
Not to make any type of excuse for her, some background is needed. This is a young woman who during her raising (and I am not placing blame on any one person in her family) learned a nasty behavior trait of getting loud and ugly to get what she wants. She will batter you to death!!  Pushing every tender button in your psyche that she knows will weaken you. I have taken a lot of verbal crap from this one, and her dislike for me grows with each "NO" I've uttered.
As she is young and not very well behaved, I have stood my ground and not given in. My feelings toward her changed some when Kynzleigh died. Kynz was her second child. Just before she was about to turn 4 months, she choked in her sleep. No ones fault. It was a freak thing. God calling his Angel early. No rhyme or reason. Since I have not lost a child, I cannot begin to understand what she went through as a Mother. At any age, losing a child would be devastating. I have tried to deal with her a little more delicately than anyone else.

Done.

Now at that point where I am no longer going to endure her shit. I raised 2 children from the same cloth I was raised... you respect your elders. With me as a child, and with my kids... right or wrong there is NO ROOM for disrespect.
So who suffers most? Me!! I lose precious moments with the babies. Moments I wish to hold on to because I know oh so well how fast time goes by. Those years raising my own, the memories... I am losing that with these two. What are they losing? Time with Gramma...
But the lesson here, learned by my lovely D-i-L, and by the grandkids, will be ~~~ Don't be ugly to Gramma. and when Gramma says no, she means it.

This Mother-in-law has had enough.

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